Reflections from Life - Part 2 
By Mike Rule

This is the second article in a series written during a recent family camping vacation. In last week's article (Reflections from Life - Part 1) I reflected on my emotions during previous stays at this same place in the woods. It concluded by painting a picture of my emotional state as we left behind an attempted vacation to minister with my Mom and Dad during what turned out to be Mom's last days of life. I was dealing with a lot of emotional turmoil, including the frustration of how I could be so self-centered when Mom was fighting a losing battle. Yet we act in faith in response to God rather than in reaction to our feelings at the moment. This gives a little background for where I am at this moment.

Presently I am a jumble of emotion. I resisted coming back here to camp and struggled to understand why I have been so angry. Slowly it was revealed that my negative emotions regarding this place are because of last month's experiences. The precious memories of last year's stay here feel soured by the recent negative situation, which compounds my feelings. Add to that the many conflicting emotions surrounding Mom's death, and then throw our financial situation into the mix. It is no wonder I am in such turmoil. I feel confused because God has clearly called our family to a lifestyle where every aspect of life has an impact on our financial situation--travel expenses, ministry and technology expenses, a specific type of diet, home-schooling our children, the actual home itself. Our expenses are not terribly high in light of the average income in America, but they exceed our current income. I am frustrated with God in most areas of life!

As background, God has specifically told us that we are not to campaign or raise support to generate income through our ministry. In light of that, it is amazing that He has given us 70% of the income we need. On the other hand, when we lack about 30%, the pressure really begins to mount and the questions and doubts can overwhelm us. How then are we to live? We feel caught in a trap that leaves us second-guessing ourselves and asking the question, Where is the God of our salvation?

As the Lord has been ministering to me through this, He has brought several questions to mind. What must God's definition of love be to let us hurt, question, and struggle the way we do sometimes? Why would He allow us to go through those times? Have you ever felt that God had given you more than you could handle?

Passage for Reflection: Matthew 14:22-32 "...Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid." And Peter answered Him and said, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." So He said, "Come." And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, "Truly You are the Son of God."

Because we like to be comfortable, we usually want our storms to be calmed instead of being willing to find God in the midst of them. Like Peter, God often saves us IN THE MIDST of our storm before He ever deals WITH the storm. When He reaches out and takes your hand, the storms become less important because Jesus truly IS enough!