Reflections from Life – Part 1 
By Mike Rule 

It is a peaceful afternoon on Saturday, August 30, 2003. I’m sitting at our campsite in the woods enjoying the beauty of God’s creation and a much-needed family vacation. I came to this same place a little over a year ago to write a book (which still has to be published – it’s on my to do list!). I have such positive memories of that time here alone with God and it was a blessing to be here to write that book.

More recently (about a month ago) we tried to vacation here, but things with my mom went from bad to worse and we ended up making several trips to the hospital as her health deteriorated. Camping was only complicating things so we moved to my parents’ home 60 miles away to be closer to the hospital and to Mom and Dad through Mom’s last days.

On the evening my Dad called to inform us that things were not going well for Mom, we decided that it was time to tear down and pack up our camp. Darkness was creeping in on us, making it difficult to pack by lanterns and flashlights. Everything was haphazardly thrown onto the trailer and into the van. I felt perplexed, worried, angry, and resentful towards God. I was exhausted from several months of travel and ministry and had been clearly told by Him that I needed a break. We had made plans on three other occasions for some time off when each time God brought circumstances that prevented it. Now He had done it once again! Not only that, but I also had a whole new set of emotions coming out of me that I did not want to face. How could I be feeling so self-centered when Mom was fighting a losing battle for her life? Nagging thoughts of, "You shouldn’t feel so self-centered" plagued me. Yes, we yielded to Him and responded to what He was doing, but that did not change the emotions of the moment. He always calls us to make our choices upon truth rather than emotion, but that does NOT mean it is easy.

Jesus challenges us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him. What must Jesus’ emotional state have been when He followed through on that in His own life? What does that look like for you and me in the midst of our present circumstances and in our present emotional state?

Verse for Reflection: Luke 22:39-44 Coming out, He went to the Mount of Olives, as He was accustomed, and His disciples also followed Him. When He came to the place, He said to them, "Pray that you may not enter into temptation." And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.