What am I Full of? - Part 2
By Mike Rule

"In this world you will have trouble..." (John 16:33)

These words of Christ seem so poignant to me right now. With the deaths of Becky's cousin and her grandfather, the health issues her grandmother has been experiencing, (all this in the past few weeks) and now the serious health issues my uncle is facing I almost feel like His words are an understatement. In the midst of this we have also had difficult financial issues, some family and personal struggles, vehicle troubles, and other things that just aren't worth mentioning. The last article that I wrote regarding what comes out when we are being squeezed really only scratched the surface of what God has been doing in me and I want to share a bit more on that. I don't want to mislead you, for even though what we are going through seems difficult, His sufficiency through all this has been amazing. Do you know what? His peace IS ruling my heart.

I must admit that at times in the past few weeks I have been an absolute bear to live with. I am still dealing with that "black goo" I mentioned in my last article. One part of me hates that, yet I know I am helpless to change it and I am encouraged that I can't. I know this is an answer to prayer and I fully understand that there truly dwells no good thing in my flesh. My prayer this year has been for Him to continually make me weaker and more dependent upon Him, and He has simply been answering my prayer. It is through seeing my helplessness that I am discovering in very deep and profound ways how His mercies are new every morning. He is becoming more and more my EVERYTHING! I really wouldn't want Him to change a thing, but there are times when I do feel like screaming, "It wasn't supposed to look like THIS!"

This article would not be complete without finishing the verse I started with;

"In this world you will have trouble... but I have OVERCOME the world!"

No matter what we experience in this world... difficulties, persecutions, failures, weaknesses, even encouragement, victories, good times, strengths, and so on... HE has overcome the world! This world with all its problems and all its blessings is serving His purposes now. Everything is to drive us to the feet of Jesus and reveal our desperate need for Him to continually become our EVERYTHING! Each circumstance is an opportunity for God to reveal Himself and increase our dependence upon Him. So I can only pray all the more:

"Lord, make me weaker. I really don't want to strive to become anything anymore; I want You to be EVERYTHING to me! Thank You so much for loving me so much. All I ask is that You will allow me to see You in all things."