Struggles
By Mike Rule

When I was still working in the auto industry, I attended a business conference in downtown Detroit to learn a new software package. The conference was excellent and I found the technology quite fascinating, but much to my dismay, I could not help but notice a pretty blonde young lady sitting across the aisle a few seats ahead of me. She was very attractive. It was very distracting and throughout the conference I kept finding my eyes wandering back to her.

I very much love my God. He is the passion and joy of my life and He has blessed me with a wonderful wife. I am very happily married and very much in love with Becky. I have no desire to ever cheat on her or stray from her emotionally, physically, or in any other way. She is truly a delight to me. That is why I was so irritated about this situation. I could not understand why I was struggling. What was I hoping to prove? What was so enticing about this person? I remember praying, "Lord, this is ridiculous!" God answered, "Yes it is, and you are not going to ever stop looking." It was like my eyes were opened. He was so right! I wouldn't. There didn't have to be a reason, I was just going to do it even though it was not my desire. That was my flesh in action. It was not a conscious effort I was making, it was an unconscious gravitation!

That is when I prayed, "Lord, You are right. I won't stop. I don't want to keep this up; doing this is not my desire. Yet, I know I will keep doing it as long as I am relying on my strength to stop it. I give You this distraction and I'm not going to worry about it or feel guilty about it again. This thing is not going to own me. I have no intention of pursuing her and this is a waste of mental energy. If I look again, it's because You have decided not to take this temptation from me yet. I rest in You. This temptation is Yours, not mine. If it comes again, it's Your problem." At that point I turned my attention back to the conference fully figuring I would keep wandering back. He could deal with it however He wanted to and whenever He wanted to. I had given the problem to Him.

The conference was over before I saw her again and the thoughts of what happened earlier flashed through my mind. I was amazed. Not only did He deal with the temptation, but I had also completely forgotten about it until that moment. I breathed a prayer of thankfulness to Him, smiled visibly enough that I'm sure everyone around thought I was a bit crazy, and left.

God stands ready to do the things we cannot do. When we will admit that we are not able, He says I AM and His strength is perfected in our weaknesses. Each struggle and temptation is a revelation of our desperate need for Him, but our pride stands in the way and we try to prove through our own strength that we can overcome. However, the weaker we become the more His strength flows through. He won't free us from anything until we will admit that we are helpless. He'll let us go there so we can be worn out and broken and see that we can't, even if it takes 50 years. Our struggles often end up becoming the focus and center of our lives, but Christ wants us to be centered on Him. "Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up!" (James 4:10)