Suffering - Part 2 
By Mike Rule

So is all this suffering our own fault? God has been ministering to me on the "door of choice." I have wrestled with this a lot. I admit I don't understand, and I still see dimly. Yet, there are glimmers coming through. This morning I took off for a while and found an exotic coffee shop to sit and meditate before the Lord on this. If WILL is the issue, the doers have both and advantage and a disadvantage over the rest. They are stronger in will. Therefore by nature they are harder to break, but when broken they will have an advantage because they will find it easier to choose. That would leave the poor feeler and thinker ultimately deficient, wouldn't it? Therefore we know that the door of Choice must supercede the will, which means that equally the mind, will, and emotions are to be submitted to it. So is suffering then a matter of a fallen will or a lack of submission? I suspect that the answer would have to be no to both.

As God's children, we are no longer carnal, but we are spiritual by nature (His nature). As an example - our human bodies get cancer every day, yet we do not DIE of cancer everyday, in fact, most often the body simply destroys it and we go on in life, never really knowing what happened. Yet cancer tries to take over but the body rises to the challenge. However, sometimes a weakness shows up and cancer latches on. When it does we suffer as death is being wrought in us.

Likewise, our flesh has weaknesses that the cancer of sin, Satan, & the world latch onto. We suffer as a result. However, for the child of God, nothing happens that is not filtered through fingers of love. Is it my fault that it latched, or is it possibly a blessing from God? I am seeing that God is not preventing the cancer because He is using it to reveal a weakness. As we turn to Him, He will deal with the cancer of sin, Satan & the world because only He can heal it.

My biggest battles have come from not allowing Him to work through my own cancer and reveal the root of the issue. In the end I wind up fighting Him. I suspect that the battle is in all 3 areas, (Mind Will & Emotion) but it is not those things that get us into trouble. Living in this world is the trouble. Yet, I wonder if it truly is trouble?

I am learning in new and profound ways that until I am content IN the circumstance, I will never be content OUT OF the circumstance. True freedom comes regardless of circumstance. I know there was a time that I had to learn to rest in, and trust Him through, GOOD times. Those were actually harder for me than through struggles.

That door of choice is beginning to make sense to me. It is a reference to the Living word of God (Jesus) that is able to separate and divide soul from Spirit. References to that door include John 10:7, Revelation 3:8, and 3:20 - Jesus IS the door! Also the word gate is in reference to this - Psalm 118:19-20, Matthew 7:13 & 14, John 5:2. Jesus is the door, and yet He also stands at the door! Amazing. I still am not sure how I "exercise" that door when I attempt to cut myself off from Him. I know my will falls in line with His will, when I choose. I suspect it is a matter of something flowing from my conscience - (perhaps the prompting to choose?), the intuition - (perhaps the spiritual will to choose?), and the communion - (perhaps the knowing to choose?). These are all matters from the spirit and not the soul, therefore they would supercede soul-ish choice.

The struggles help me along on my journey of learning not to rely on soul life, and to yield to a Spirit led life. I think the biggest battle for me is to not fight it or judge it, but to yield to it. Yet I know I will always continue to struggle with the fact that I struggle, which takes me down into a spiral of self-despond. Oh retched man that I am; who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to Jesus for His hand in the midst of my storm!!!!!