This week’s article is part 10 in a series I started last year. It saddens my heart that several have left the mailing list because I keep coming back to this issue, but I am firmly convinced that I am to share openly and honestly not only my victories, but also my failures and pain with you. Thank you so much to those who continually and faithfully uplift us in prayer. I owe so many of you personal emails and I will write you eventually. But in the meantime I am so thankful that we have this venue to stay in communication. Shalom, friends. Mike 

Suffer Loss
(Where is the God of My Salvation? - Part 10)
By Mike Rule

I was recently having a conversation with a friend and he was asking about how things were going for us financially. After I shared what our most recent struggles were, he looked me in the eyes and said, “It is a joy to see you suffer for the sake of the gospel.” I had mixed feelings as a result of his comment. In my spirit I knew what he was saying, and I was very encouraged that he could see beyond what things look like on the surface to the heart behind what we are really going through. But I also felt ashamed: the enemy came raging in with all the accusations of failure, being hopeless, worthless, useless, etc. I had to grit my teeth and stand in the truth in spite of all I was feeling.

In the weeks since I have had to face even more of my baggage. I had been in the negotiation process with our mortgage company to try to reach an agreed settlement value so we could reduce the sale price of our home. I was assured that they would not foreclose as long as we were having these discussions. However, on Wednesday, May 23rd,I got a letter from their law firm stating that our home was in foreclosure and would be sold by the mortgage company this month. The feelings of betrayal and shock nearly overwhelmed me. One of my biggest struggles over the years has been being naïve, resulting in my being taken advantage of, misunderstood, and betrayed countless times. All of those feelings of the past came raging back in that instant. I immediately called the mortgage company to find out what was going on. I discovered that I had asked all the right questions, but they had not given me all the information I previously needed. I had a choice – I could see God in it, trusting that He had blocked the communication for a purpose and reason I did not understand, or I could beat myself up while spiraling into depression and anger. It was a great challenge, and I did not do it perfectly, but again, I had to grit my teeth and stand in the truth in spite of all I was feeling.

A few days later, I got home in the middle of the day to find a note taped to the door of our home. It was a notice from the county and the law firm stating that our property was in foreclosure and due for public sale this month. The feelings of humiliation were nearly overwhelming. It was tempting to dive in to the flesh in all its “not so glorious” forms and indulge all my lusts just to attempt to make myself feel better. But the Lord challenged me to trust Him, so I once again gritted my teeth and stood in the truth, in spite of all I was feeling.

Someone once said that God is most obviously present when He is so conspicuously silent. He affirms and encourages us almost daily on so many levels, yet in these big picture issues He has little or nothing to say. We know He is with us, and we know He has a plan. But we don’t always like the plan. But He never asked us to like it. On September 11th, 2001 – just an hour before the first plane hit the towers in New York City – I sent out a poem for that week’s reflection. Here it is:

His Sovereignty 
By Mike Rule 

God is going to do what God is going to do; 
We are the ones to adjust. 
He never promised that it would be easy; 
All that He asks is our trust.

He has a plan that we cannot fathom. 
He sees things that we cannot grasp. 
If we would trust Him each step on the way, 
He would give us His peace that will last.

If we could see He so faithful to be, 
The fulfillment of every last promise. 
The crisis today would not impede our way,
And His peace would descend down upon us.

Trust Him today even though it is puzzling. 
Trust Him in spite of your doubt. 
And He will be ever faithful; you will see, 
His Love for you never runs out.

Those words have ministered to me over the years -- when my mom died in 2003, when we narrowly avoided bankruptcy in 2004, 2005, and 2006, and when the various stresses and pressures of life have been nearly overwhelming – and continually encourage me to faith.

So, the Lord continues to challenge us to trust Him, to grit our teeth and stand in the truth, in spite of all we may be feeling.

Verse for Reflection

And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name. (Act 5:41 KJVR)

And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. (Rom 8:17 KJVR)

And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it. (1Co 12:26 KJVR)

And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. (2Co 1:6 KJVR)

For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake; (Phi 1:29 KJVR)

I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. (Phi 4:12 KJVR)

If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us: (2Ti 2:12 KJVR)