Revelation of Flesh
By Mike Rule

There are days when I would much rather teach concepts and ideas rather than having to walk in the reality of what I teach. Today has been one of those days. The revelation of flesh is not pretty.

For the last four years we have been being squeezed harder and harder by life circumstances. Sometimes it feels as if it will ever end. Initially the Lord’s strength was so real and tangible that even though times were difficult, it did not feel like a burden and I was truly amazed at His strength. As time has gone on, it has not felt so easy. I have felt hard pressed on every side almost to the point of despair. As I said in last week’s article, emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion have all played a huge part. We have done our best to follow Him, but it is hard to continue to trust Jesus when you see yourself digging a huge hole that there is no way to ever dig out of humanly. We have not only been on the verge of financial bankruptcy, but it seems that emotionally, mentally, physically and relationally we are close to that same point.

I am so full of internal pain that even when someone reaches out to touch me in a loving or caring way, the pain is unbearable. A gentle touch to a sensitive wound for the purpose of healing still causes excruciating pain. As a result I end up lashing out against the people I care the most about and who care deeply for me. This is especially true of me regarding Becky as she has to put up with all my crud.

It all came to a head this morning, and for the first time I was really ready to walk away from the ministry. It was not because I was disgusted that my flesh was not improving or because I felt unfit for ministry. Rather, I am simply tired of the struggle. I have endured and endured, but I have nothing left with which to endure… I am at the end of my rope.

Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I know I will press on; I am only letting you into the inner battle I endure -- one that has only increased progressively in intensity for the last four years. Most days I ignore it and press on in the Lord; other days I take up with it hoping to find something or someone to make me feel better. But the bottom line is no one will make me feel better. Not even Jesus. It’s not that He couldn’t do it; it is that He won’t. Why would He eliminate the thing that brings me to deeper dependence upon Him? This inner battle resulting in the disgusting vomit of fleshly behavior is EXACTLY what I need to remind me of just how desperately I need Jesus. What I think, feel, or even how I act really is irrelevant because it does not change Jesus or His Truth.

If you saw me in the flesh, you would unsubscribe from this list and burn anything you have from LCMI… yes, it’s that bad. There IS nothing good in it. However, I only get the misery I ask for when I embrace my flesh. The problem is not that nothing good is in my flesh; the problem is wading deeply into it while expecting to find something – anything – good. It’s like hoping and expecting to find a wonderful steak dinner while digging through a manure pile. Then when I can’t find my steak dinner and someone else reminds me there is no steak, only manure, I get upset with them for telling me what I already know! It’s an endless no-win battle that can leave me and everyone else around hurting.

The good news is that Jesus IS everything I am not. I can glance at my flesh or I can wade up to my eyeballs in it until I am reminded of this good news. The choice is mine. The last few days I guess I have had to take a swan dive into it just to be reminded that I am not becoming anything. Instead, Jesus is becoming EVERYTHING to me. If I would only take my eyes off me and put them on Him, there would begin to be a release of His life. He is not shocked, surprised, or disgusted by what dwells in my flesh. He knows it better than I do; I am the one who has the problem accepting it. The revelation of my flesh is a blessing because it is a built in revelation of all Jesus is and Who He is to me.

Verses for Reflection

Hurry with your answer, GOD! I'm nearly at the end of my rope. Don't turn away; don't ignore me! That would be certain death. If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice, I'll go to sleep each night trusting in you. Point out the road I must travel; I'm all ears, all eyes before you. Save me from my enemies, GOD-- you're my only hope! (Psalms 143:7-9 MSG)

I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. (Romans 7:24-25 MSG)

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:7-9 MSG)

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You; because he trusts in You. Trust in Jehovah forever; for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength. (Isaiah 26:3-4 MKJV)