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I’m So Offended! I recently had someone write to me asking for help in dealing with an anger issue. Many of us struggle with anger, bitterness and resentment for things that have happened or are happening to us in life. However, the root of anger is found in a faulty approach to life. One of the first issues we have to face is that our flesh is NEVER going to improve; however, that does not mean we need to indulge it. Our flesh LUSTS for attention and wants to feel better. When flesh does not get the attention that it thinks it deserves, it reacts in anger and is offended by what the other person says or does. But here is the bottom line: nobody has the power to make you mad; you can only give them that power over you. Whenever we are offended it is because we have surrendered our peace into the hands of another person. I can only be offended and get angry if I take as a personal attack whatever is being handed to me. The real secret is that the choice is mine. There are times when I also struggle with anger, but I have learned to ask myself if the issue at hand is worth surrendering the peace of God. I find very little that is worth that price. Yes, you have to own what you feel, but 1 Peter 5:7 says to cast your anxieties on the Lord because it matters to Him. The point in owning what you feel is not so it can take control of you, but so you can take control of it. Whenever we give man’s opinion more weight than we should, we end up being offended and reacting in anger rather than receiving the information and taking it to the Lord to seek His mind. If I take criticism from Becky as a personal attack, I am the one who is inviting in misery. I just surrendered my happiness and peace into her hands. If I would receive her criticism instead and take it to the Lord to seek His mind, I might just find that the Lord has something in it for me, and there would be a greater release of Christ’s life in me. The more I receive all things as from the Lord, and take all things to the Lord, the less likely I am to lay down my peace for man’s opinion. Let’s face it: the only reason I ever get offended is that I already feel like a worthless, useless, hopeless, failure anyway, and I certainly do not want her reminding me of it! In taking a humorous glimpse at my thoughts, I can find them looking a bit like this: How dare she criticize me! Who does she think she is!? The nerve of that woman! I am so angry with her I think I will just surrender my peace and happiness to her! That will show her! J But what if I am offended at myself? What if my anger is all self-directed and not other generated? The issue is still one of surrendering peace and joy into the hands of a human being. I can only get offended and angry with myself when I have false expectations of self. I think so highly of myself, I think I should be better than I am! Do we really think we can improve ourselves one iota? When we are angry with ourselves, we are still making our own happiness hinge on human effort. Do you really think you are smart enough to know what your life should look like and what will make you happy? Don’t think higher of yourself than you ought! Being angry does not bring peace and joy. It only makes your life miserable. Admit what you feel, but recognize that the misery is a revelation of being a new creation in Christ. You are not suited to be offended! Christ’s life in you is NOT offendable. If you live anti-Christ, your misery is proving the Christ who is YOUR life. He will not let you be happy living anti-Christ. Verses for Reflection And the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 MKJV) And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which you also are called in one body, and be thankful. (Colossians 3:15 MKJV) He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city. (Proverbs 16:32 MKJV) The judgment of a man puts off his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. (Proverbs 19:11 MKJV) And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you are sealed until the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and tumult and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:30-32 MKJV) Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry--but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. (Ephesians 4:26-27 MSG) ------------------------------------------------------ You may also want to read Offended! on our website. |
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