Why Am I Still Hungry? 
By Becky Rule

I have recently struggled with why I continue to feel spiritually hungry. I have been so puzzled by this. If Jesus is all I need, and I have Him, why do I keep feeling empty? I thought I would get over being hungry. Isn't life supposed to be more fulfilling with Jesus? Then why do I continue to hunger for something more?

Eventually God reached me through the guilt I felt over my struggles and showed me the answer to my questions through an everyday experience. Life with Jesus is like eating, and we do not eat once and for all. We get hungry, we eat, and we are satisfied. Then, we get hungry again, so we eat and once again we are filled...for a time. Just as I need food to survive but cannot eat once and for all, so I need Jesus in order to spiritually thrive; but I cannot truly live by going to Him once and for all. I am not saying I lose Him or He loses me if I fail to choose Him on a daily basis, but it is no wonder I begin to sense an emptiness when I have not taken in a fresh supply of Him. There is no need to settle for stale bread or yesterday's manna. Every moment of each day is a new reason to need Him. Of course He is enough for eternity, but I cannot hold that all at once! As our Bread of Life, He said to pray, "Give us THIS day our daily bread." My interpretation of that is: Jesus, be to me what I need today.

At those moments when I'm feeling dissatisfied--again!--the temptation is to believe that Jesus is not enough. I have been told He holds all the answers, that He is all I need for life, and that He IS my life. But, when I start feeling hungry and empty--again--I begin to wonder. Maybe there IS something more to have, to do, or to be. A nagging whisper says, "If I have Jesus, and I'm still hungry or hungry again, maybe He ISN'T enough. Maybe He isn't Who I thought He was. Maybe He cannot do for me what I thought He could. Maybe I don't have Him like I thought, or maybe He does not have me like I believed."

Just like Adam and Eve, we have opportunity after opportunity to choose life or death. We may choose Jesus, but we must also continue choosing Him. He is not only the direction in which to head, but also the fuel with which to make the journey. Our "day of salvation" is like a wedding day in that we choose the one we intend to spend life with. Each day after that we have the opportunity to build upon that choice and strengthen the relationship, or to go without and to live in the resulting unpleasantness and distance. The marriage is still valid if we do not continue to choose, but the relationship fails to reach its potential intimacy and the marriage will not be what it could have been.

Scripture admonishes us to be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). It literally means keep on being filled with the Spirit. I see now that my recurring hunger is simply a reminder of how I continually need a fresh supply of Jesus in my life. The emptiness is the path to increased dependence upon Him. Where I first saw the hunger as a bad thing, I now see it as a blessing to keep me near. Bon appetit!