Paid in Full 
By Becky Rule

There was a time in my spiritual walk when God revealed that I was in bondage because I believed I needed to pay Him back for all He had done for me. The more He did for me, the more burdened I felt. I was not freed by all His blessings because they increased my debt! The more He blessed, the more I inwardly shrunk away from Him, knowing I could never pay it back. The conflict within me was immense. I knew I should seek Him and desire Him, but my feelings drove me away; I could not bear to add to my already overwhelming debt. One morning during my time with God, He told me to write a receipt: "You had a debt of sin, but Jesus paid that for you. It was NOT a loan that you have to pay back. When you received Jesus, the agreement was that you would receive His payment -- in full -- as applied to your account. What about it -- do you receive it, or don’t you?"

My tendency towards working for God’s approval had not disappeared at the point of salvation. It simply shifted from EARNING my salvation to OWING God for redeeming me. I conceded that I could not earn eternal life, but I still felt I owed Him for it. The subtle rationale is that we are responsible people, doing our part out of devotion to Him because He did His part. Earning and owing are equally evil because the focus becomes our works, our value, our rightness, our worthiness, what we did, what we are doing, and what we will do rather than what God did, what He is doing, and what He will do. If we scrape away the fluff, it is still salvation in exchange for something; the focus has simply changed from before salvation to the present.

When God asked me for a receipt, I came face to face with rejecting Jesus and what He did. For the first time I clearly saw "paying Him back" as the wicked and subtle deception it is. My intentions appeared honorable but were a direct slap in His face because I refused to receive my cancelled debt. I immediately saw God’s point…and dismissed the receipt idea. Talk about being proud, self-righteousness, stubborn, stiff-necked and hard-hearted! It took two days of His gentle yet persistent nudging before I was miserable enough to write the receipt: "PAID IN FULL. Received on account from Jesus. Signed, Becky" How thoroughly humbling to write God a receipt! Then He said, "Keep it. The receipt isn’t for Me; it’s for you. I will not forget you do not owe me anything, but you might."

What a humble God we have—the God who meets us where we are and ministers to US! What if He demanded that we learn HIS language in order to communicate with Him? He speaks to us in the language we know! He is also the God who is with us wherever we go! This reality left Jacob in awe. (Genesis 28) A god who went everywhere was a new concept. The ancients believed gods were limited to a particular place of worship, which is why they took their worship TO their gods. Not with our God —He is with us.

Our God also meets us where we are spiritually. He not only pays our entrance fee; He pays for our progress! He goes before us, guides and directs us on the path, and protects us; He goes with us! Neither does our God demand particular traits, talents, personality characteristics, physical attributes, or levels of intellect. This isn’t a college entrance exam or a job interview—this is a relationship with our God and He accepts us where we are, the way we are. He takes a broken heart within a needy person. One of the most touching and intimate things to me personally is that God speaks to me in a way I understand. As my Creator, He knows my feelings, how I see things and how I interpret situations. Taking all that into consideration, He lovingly chooses to communicate with me in a very intimate way. He is gentle when He needs to be gentle and stern when He needs to be stern. He knows the exact amount of pressure to apply in just the right area of my understanding at just the right time. My observation is that God’s intimate communication with others is slightly different from the way He speaks to me; it’s in the words and tone and way we each understand best. He reduces Himself to speak and minister to us, customizing His timing, His words and tone to meet us where we are! On the other hand, He not only speaks to us in a way we can comprehend; He understands my thoughts and feelings when I cannot even express them. What a relief to be free of attempting to express things too deep for words. He unravels the maddening jumble inside, explaining ourselves to us. HE KNOWS!

What a humble God! IMAGINE -- the greatest Being in the universe (and beyond), meeting us on terms we can comprehend! There are no words to express His worthiness. Most amazing is His satisfaction with an, "I love You."