Christ - Moment by Moment
By Mike Rule
These past few weeks have been rough ones for me. There have
been days when I absolutely dreaded going to work. There were
days when I hated my job. I have felt stuck in a miserable
circumstance with no hope of freedom. My own words have haunted
me at times -"victory in - rather than removal of the
circumstances." The words of Christ kept haunting me too,
"In this world you'll have trouble, but I have overcome the
world." I wanted victory more than anything, and that was
the problem... I wanted it more than anything! Recently things
came to a head for me.
God wouldn't let me alone on this. He revealed how deceitful
my heart is. My goal was for God to change my circumstances.
"If things would only get better. If I could only have
something that would challenge me in my job. If He would only
open the door for full time ministry. I want victory!" The
list of excuses I made for my discontentment was very long but I
felt I needed to just wait on Him and endure. God finally brought
me to a place of confrontation. He said "Look Mike, you are
not willing to let Me be victorious through you in this job and
you are not going anywhere until you are willing! You want
something to change in the job, or the job to change. Admit it! I
am not enough for you."
Out of desperation I finally broke, "God, you are so
right. I don't want to be victorious in it; I want You to remove
it! If You want me to be content in the way things are right now,
You will have to be my contentment. I can't do it!" That is
when He really began to speak. He showed me that I wanted victory
more than I wanted Him. I had false assumptions about what His
victory really is. He showed me that when the feelings of
discontentment and misery begin to come, I am free to surrender
my right to be miserable to Him and admit my need for Him in that
moment, or I can dwell in those feelings and glory in my misery.
The choice was mine. I am beginning to see the blessing He has
for me in the daily "drudgery" of my job! I am finding
the sufficiency of Christ in a way I had never experienced
before. I am so dependent upon Him moment by moment! His love
just pours out in ways that stagger and amaze me, and the peace
of God is ruling my heart in a way that I never dreamed possible!
He is so faithful!
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