Trust- Part 1 
by Becky Rule

I don't find waiting and trusting very easy. I'll share a bit of what my battles have been like lately; maybe they aren't much different than yours. Thoughts tell me I should be believing harder and doing more. I endure constant criticism of being lazy, irresponsible, and on the wrong road because we are seemingly making few visible contributions toward making a "successful" ministry. My feelings panic because of what my thoughts tell me. I fight with feelings of humiliation, embarrassment, and uncertainty. Swaying emotions tell me either I don't know what to believe or that there is nothing to believe, leading me to get caught up in WHAT to believe rather than WHOM to believe. Beneath it all I hear a quiet, steady, gentle yet firm voice: "Trust Me." God has given us only limited short-term direction with very few details on what He will do in our situation. When Mike quit his job in response to God's call, our immediate questions were, Will I need to find a job? What does this mean for our home schooling? God's reply has simply been, "Wait." Then I wanted to know, "Wait for what? What am I supposed to be looking for?" Have you ever heard God smile? He just smiles at my questions and says, "Trust Me. No matter what I ask you to do or where I ask you to go. No matter what things look like and seem. No matter how little I tell you to do. Trust me when you aren't hearing anything. Trust Me when I don't give you anything to do. Trust Me." It would be easy to be driven by my feelings and start putting all kinds of energy into making things look good, busy, and successful. It takes a whole lot more effort to do what I'm doing and wait while He purifies my motives. The only reason waiting bothers me is because I care what others think of me. When God told me to wait, He took me to John 6, Mark 6, and Matthew 14. As usual, I wanted to know more details and how long we were to wait. That's when we headed for the Sea of Galilee. It is significant to me that Jesus did not arrive at the disciples' boat until the fourth watch--between three and six a.m. The disciples waited all night; He didn't arrive until it was almost time to start over! When our lives appear in jeopardy and we think that all is lost, Jesus shows up. When He doesn't look like we thought He would, may His grace abound that we would recognize Him and trust Him enough to allow Him into the boat of our life.